The Trouble with Frogs Read online

  "Um… Mr—?"

  "Flip!" he shouted. "Flip the Clown!" Jazz hands again.

  "Okay, Mr. Flip, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

  At that his mouth closed and his jazz hands drooped. He stood up straight and glanced around the room. It was empty except for the three of us, but he seemed to be looking for some reprieve. I knew he wasn't going to get it from Shelly.

  "You want me to leave?" he asked. It was hard to tell with the perma-smile and painted eyebrows if he was understanding the situation. But his shoulders seemed to sag.

  "Yes. Now." I almost felt bad for the poor clown, but for Shelly's sake, I couldn't relent.

  "Now?"

  "Yes." I glanced toward Shelly. Still trembling and staring at the wall.

  "Well, I'm here to meet a date."

  Crap.

  "Phillip?" I asked.

  "Yes. Jory?"

  "Listen, I'm sorry. But this isn't going to work out tonight." I gestured toward Shelly. "She is deathly afraid of clowns, and I need to help her."

  He seemed to notice her for the first time. "Oh. I'm sorry. Rain check, then?"

  I felt bad, you know? I mean… poetry is nice, don't get me wrong. But a guy I hardly know reciting poetry from a tabletop? Icky. Even without the clown suit.

  "I don't think so." Then with a conspiratorial whisper, I added, "She would fire me."

  Flip the Clown nodded and his gaze dropped to his size 33s. "Okay. I understand."

  I locked the door behind him and hurried back to check on Shelly.

  Just under her breath I caught the words, "…Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…"

  Andy stared at me like he was in genuine shock.

  "I drove her home and made her some tea, then I waited for her husband to get home."

  "Is she going to be okay?"

  "I think so. Though she did tell me that first thing this morning she was going to take every copy of Shakespeare's sonnets off the shelves and burn them." Jory didn't think Shelly was serious, but she wouldn't blame the woman. That clown had forever ruined Sonnet 18 for both of them.

  "You weren't kidding about short-lived date." Andy lifted his mug to his lips.

  "Sometimes a little is more than enough."

  "Yeah." He shook his head, then met my gaze. "I almost feel bad for daring you to keep this up. Any chance your ex-friend will let you out of purgatory?"

  "I don't know. She is convinced that I'm making all of this up."

  Andy chuckled. "It is pretty incredible."

  Jory could only nod her agreement. It had happened to her, and she still couldn't believe it.

  "I'm almost curious though, aren't you?" he asked.

  "Curious?" Jory raised an eyebrow. He was trying to talk her into trying again.

  "Maybe it's your system of picking. What process do you use when you are choosing a date on this thing?" He reached across the table for her phone. For some reason, she set it in his hand without hesitating.

  That was weird. She never let anyone mess with her phone.

  "Is it this one?" He pointed to the heart icon with a big white e on it.

  Jory nodded, and Andy tapped the screen. Watching his eyes dart over the screen, she could feel her heart rate increasing. This would not end well, she was convinced.

  "You trust me to pick one?" he asked without looking up at her.

  Her heart seemed to drop to her feet and her mouth went dry. Both symptoms she had experienced the first time she accepted a connection request. "No. Not really."

  "Probably smart." He moved to hand her phone back.

  "On the other hand, it's not like you could possibly do any worse than I have." Now she was talking herself into it. What was that about?

  Andy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?"

  Sighing in resignation, Jory rested her head on the back of her chair. "Sure. Why not."

  A couple minutes later, Andy set the phone on her knee. "Let me know what he says." An odd smile hung on his lips.

  Jory checked the time on her phone. "I guess I better go. I'm gonna have to run home to change out of these clothes before work." She bent to gather her purse, then remembered. "I promised Shelly I wouldn't have my dates meet me at work anymore. I'll probably have to meet him here. You suppose they'll care?" She gestured toward the counter. It was a silly question. Why would they care?

  A shadow of doubt seemed to darken Andy's eyes, but he recovered quickly. "I'm sure it's fine."

  The real reason Jory had asked hit her suddenly, causing her to take pause on her way out the door.

  She'd wanted to know if Andy would care.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  JORY WAS STILL HAVING TROUBLE seeing straight when she stumbled through the coffee shop door. Her head spun slightly, and the butterflies in her stomach forced her to scan the room for the location of all the nearest trash cans, just in case she would need them.

  Inhaling slowly, she drank in the aroma of freshly ground premium coffee beans. The fragrance revived her senses somewhat. She was hopeful that her uneasy stomach would allow her a cup of morning coffee.

  Forcing her eyes to focus on the face behind the counter, Jory realized it wasn't Andy working the register. The glare from Reese's bright copper hair made her blink to protect her retinas.

  "Well, good morning, Sunshine," Reese said in a monotone. "You look like something the cat dragged in. Rough night?"

  "You don't want to know," she answered, still squinting against the blinding reflection of light in his hair.

  "Sadly, that is true. I would like to know your order, however." He pointed over Jory's shoulder to indicate the line forming behind her. "Not everyone can take a break during the morning rush to a play hero for a pretty ginger."

  Jory wasn't sure how to respond. What was that supposed to mean? Instead, she chose to ignore his comment and placed her order.

  When Reese called her name, she stepped up and studied the mug on the counter. No foam heart. "Is Andy off today?"

  "He worked a double shift yesterday," Reese answered. "He's supposed to be here later."

  It felt like there were rocks in her stomach as she pulled out the hard wooden chair at the small table by the front window. The chatter going on around her rang in her pounding head, and Jory closed her eyes for a minute.

  One thing was for absolute certain. She was never using eTruLuv for a date again.

  Five minutes dragged by while Jory sat and stared out the window at the rain splattering against the pavement, a constant drizzle from a dismal gray sky. It matched her mood.

  She used to enjoy this. The solitude before beginning her day. Sitting alone among a crowd of people with no one who needed her attention. Today that same solitude hung heavy in her heart. Jory didn't realize how much she had started to enjoy Andy's company every morning. How she relied on his laughter to show her the humor in life.

  What would he have to say about her date with Corey?

  Andy had seen him the night before when Corey'd met her at the coffee shop.

  He hadn't said much — pretended to be just a barista — made their coffee to go and took their payment. But when Corey had excused himself to the restroom for a few minutes, Andy leaned across the tall bar where Jory was seated and whispered, "I didn't choose too badly, did I?"

  His casual comment was harmless, so she wasn't sure why it had bothered her so much.

  When she and Corey had left for their evening together, Andy hadn't even looked up.

  Jory sighed and checked the time on her phone. Ten minutes.

  There was no use just sitting here. Not when she felt so miserable. She wasn't even sure work was a good idea today. Maybe she would call in sick.

  "Excuse me." An unfamiliar man stood in front of her table, resting his hand on the back of the chair across from her. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

  She shook her head. It didn't matter. Andy wasn't going to use it, and she had all but made the dec
ision to go back home and crawl into her warm bed.

  "Thanks. It fills up fast in here. There aren't any other seats open." The man draped his wet coat over the back of the chair and set his briefcase on the floor. "Can you believe this rain?"

  Jory smiled but wasn't really in the mood for talking. Her head was spinning again. When it stopped, she planned to leave.

  "I hope this doesn't sound weird, but you look a lot like someone I know." He sipped his coffee and studied her face for way too long. "Do you mind if I ask your name?"

  "Jory Wendell," she said. It probably didn't reek of confidence, but she wasn't too concerned about that right then.

  "What a beautiful name." He held his hand out to her. "I'm Blake Bishop. It's nice to meet you, Jory."

  "You too."

  He shook his head and snorted. "I'm sorry. It's just uncanny how much you look like my friend. Same wavy red hair. Same light blue eyes."

  They spent the next half hour talking about all sorts of things. It turned out Blake and Jory had attended the same high school, though Blake had been two years ahead of her. He was in advertising, working as an associate at a local firm. His specialty was graphic layout, so the fact that Jory loved photography intrigued him. There was genuine disappointment in his eyes when he checked his watch and realized he had to leave for work.

  "I don't want to sound too forward, but would you be interested in getting together maybe tomorrow night? I'd love to talk to you some more."

  A date the old-fashioned way. That was… new.

  She wasn't sure. After five miserable failures in ten days, did she dare risk it? What would Andy say?

  Movement outside the window caught her eye, so she let her gaze focus on the scene there. It took a moment for her mind to wrap around what was going on. A couple was saying goodbye. The man hugged the woman, and the two parted in separate ways — the woman down the street and the man toward the coffee shop. When the bell on the door chimed, she glanced toward him.

  Andy.

  Her heart seemed to stop.

  "What do you think, Jory?" Blake was asking her. "Too weird?"

  She shook her head slightly to clear the fog. Andy had a girlfriend. She should have figured as much. All the good ones were taken. Her eyes rested on Blake. Except maybe this guy. "No. That'll be fun. Tomorrow is open.

  "Want to meet here? Maybe out on the corner around seven?"

  Her eyes wandered back toward Andy who waved and smiled as if he hadn't just sent her heart spiraling to the floor. She knew she was being silly. Her interest in Andy was obviously one-sided, and his goal had always been just to help her out and be friendly. Jory had no right to expect anything more from him.

  "Yeah. Seven will work. I'll see you tomorrow."

  Blake smiled warmly and picked up his jacket and briefcase. "Great!" He handed her a business card. "This is my number in case you need to get a hold of me. I'll see you tomorrow!"

  Then he was gone.

  Within seconds, Andy was taking the vacated chair across from Jory. "Hey! Sorry I'm late."

  "No big deal," Jory said.

  "Since I worked a double shift yesterday, I'm working a little later today. My shift doesn't start for another hour though."

  Reese wiped the crumbs off the table beside us. "Dude, was that Chloe? Why didn't she come in?"

  "She had to run a few errands before she leaves this afternoon," Andy answered. He kept his eyes trained on Jory. Was her disappointment showing? Drumming on the table a few beats, he addressed her again. "I'm glad I didn't miss you. I tried to get here sooner, but I got a little held up. I wanna hear how last night went. Guy seemed nice when he picked you up."

  Jory nodded. She felt a little better with some caffeine in her veins. Veins. Did she have to use that word?

  She knew she had to tell him the story. Andy was the one who had chosen this guy, after all. Pushing past her feelings, she teased him. "I just want you to know, I hold you personally responsible for everything that happened last night."

  An almost perfect smile broke across his face. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

  Corey Hamm, your personal contribution to my suffering, was a perfect gentleman when he picked me up, just like you said. I mean, you were there. You know. He held my chair for me, he opened the door for me, and he paid for my coffee. I'd had high hopes when we left for our date last night.

  As we got into his car, he said, "I hope you don't mind, but I have something a little unconventional in mind."

  I'm not gonna lie. Creativity on the guy's part in planning a date is a huge plus. It means he spent time thinking about me. So I was excited to see what Corey had come up with. Compared to the other four, it would be a welcome change.

  "So… you game?" he asked.

  "As long as it's legal," I answered. After it came out of my mouth, I realized immediately that I should have made a few other stipulations. I mean, there are a great many things that are legal that I wouldn't be caught dead doing. But he seemed so pleased with himself, I didn't want to ruin the fun.

  We drove about ten blocks and turned into the parking lot of the blood bank.

  I figured as he opened my car door that maybe he was just parking here and we would go to one of the clubs or cafés nearby. Sometimes parking can be a hassle downtown. So when he led the way to the front door of the blood bank, I was confused. I had never heard of anyone touring a blood bank before.

  "So… I'm a little short this week, but my idea is that we sell our plasma. This clinic will pay an extra ten dollars for new donors. Have you given here before?"

  I have never given plasma in my life. I'm deathly afraid of needles.

  The way Shelly is afraid of clowns.

  Did he really expect me to sell my plasma too?

  Um… the answer to that is… yes. Yes, he did. And he took all the money.

  To finance our date.

  I hadn't eaten much the whole day. A bagel at breakfast and only a few tuna fish crackers at lunch, so when they finished draining me of plasma, I felt dizzy and a little sick.

  Corey just laughed it off. "Newbies are so funny. You'll get used to it."

  He pocketed the cash and helped me back into the car.

  When we arrived at the Thai restaurant I was so woozy, I couldn't even see straight. Corey thought I would feel better if I could eat a little, so I ordered something just to get my blood sugar level up.

  It didn't help. Thai food is notoriously spicy. Spicy and nausea are not friends.

  I spent half an hour in the restroom revisiting my dinner.

  "You don't look so good," he said when I finally emerged. "You're, like, green."

  Exactly the color I was going for.

  "I think I should go home." I thought I was stating the obvious.

  Corey wasn't convinced. "You haven't given the food a chance to work! Just a little longer? I have a great night planned."

  So far his idea of great had involved drilling for plasma in untapped veins and Thai food on an uneasy stomach. I was afraid to ask what was next.

  Spoiler alert: It was the Ferris wheel.

  I should have known.

  Naturally, we got stuck at the top for ten minutes.

  I was already dizzy and nauseous, so when Corey started rocking the seat compartment and singing, "I'm free-e-e-e-e-e fallin'!" I lost it.

  All over him.

  And all over those poor people in the seat compartments below us.

  "That was not cool, Jory! This jacket is suede!" Corey shouted. Then he proceeded to yell at the ride operator for the next several minutes to get him down from there. Everyone below us was furious. Also, it's possible that I started a vomit chain reaction. By the time we stepped off the Ferris wheel I was the only one not covered in… well, you know.

  "So… do you hate me?" Andy asked, cringing.

  "Only a little."

  "Sorry about that. I thought he looked decent." His gaze dropped to his hands, and he seemed to be inspecting his fingernails
.

  "He wasn't as bad as Pedal Power guy or Three Roll Test guy. At least Corey meant well."

  "Do you mean when he forced you to give plasma or when he refused to take you home when you were sick? Or maybe it was when he sang Free-Falling on the top of the Ferris wheel?"

  "Hmmm… is it okay if we don't talk about it anymore? I'm still a little woozy."

  Andy offered a soft smile. Concern darkened his eyes. "Do you want me to see you to work?"

  "No, thanks. I think I'm just gonna head home and sleep this off." She rose slowly and gathered her stuff.

  "Probably a good idea." Andy stood too and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Does this mean the great dating experiment is over?"

  "Actually, that guy who was here right before you left asked me out for tomorrow. So…"

  The announcement appeared to take Andy by surprise. "You mean the guy in the suit?" He gestured over his shoulder toward the door with his thumb, his eyebrows drew together skeptically.

  "Yeah. His name is Blake. He's in graphic design. Can you believe it? A date the old-fashioned way!" Jory tried to keep her tone light. It was weird. She'd been discussing her dating life with Andy for over a week and a half now, and it hadn't felt awkward until right then. The way he was looking at her. The way he glanced back over his shoulder toward the door as if he could still catch a glimpse of the guy who'd asked her out. "Everything okay, Andy?"

  Her question brought his attention back to her. "What? Oh… yeah, I'm fine. I just… No, it's nothing." Tossing another quick glance toward the door, he added, "So you're going out with him tomorrow night?"

  "That's the plan. You know, if I recover from the past five dates in time."

  Andy chuckled but seemed to be somewhere else altogether.

  "Well, I better go," Jory said.

  With a nod he turned and held the door for her.

  It was good, right? A date with a normal guy. A day to rest and recuperate. A chance to start over. She should be excited…

  So why did she feel so miserable?

  CHAPTER SIX

  JORY'S LOVE LIFE WAS HOPELESS.

  There were no other words for it… except maybe nonexistent, tragedy, and epic failure. Apparently there were other words for it.